Love may be blind but take a closer look when it is digital, as it could be a scam

By: Jacqueline Jayne – Security Awareness Advocate at KnowBe4 

Valentine’s Day is upon us but unfortunately romance scams have taken a turn for the worst.  Generative AI has infiltrated nearly every aspect of our lives with incredible positive advancements for the greater good.  Conversely, AI has provided a new and terrifying aspect of scamming.  

Cybercriminals and scammers have already dusted off their playbooks and will roll out the tried-and-true Valentine’s Day and Romance Scams.  More details on these are below.  Let’s discuss the influence and consequences of AI for the 2024 Valentine’s Day and Romance Scams.

The rise of deepfakes has handed cybercriminals and scammers a new and improved way of success.  With this new technology, they can create fake images, audio and video in seconds.  We are seeing completely AI-generated people using real faces combined with fake bodies.  Voice cloning technology means that the red flag of accents or voices that don’t match with photos is becoming a thing of the past. Scammers are utilising AI to create multiple personas online that, to the untrained eye, are incredibly hard to spot.  This includes celebrity impersonations such as the recent Taylor Swift fake videos.

Romance scams are one of the sweetest traps cybercriminals use to steal money, identities, and information, not to mention break hearts. From the dodgy profile on an app to the fake sugar daddy, there are several types of romance scams, and it is essential to know how to identify them, so you do not get caught. 

Being able to spot the red flags and then having the courage to step away from a potential scam is not easy when it comes to matters of the heart.

Let’s start with the facts

There has been a rapid rise in love-related scams in Southeast Asia over the past few years. It was recently reported that Indonesia had arrested 88 Chinese nationals for their involvement in a cross-border telephone and online romance scam syndicate. In Singapore, it was reported that in the first six months of 2023, SGD 25.9 million ($19.2 million) was lost to love scams.

In June 2023, a total of 7,548 love scam cases had been reported from 2018 with losses reaching RM382 million in Malaysia.

Things to consider:

1. All age groups and genders are victims of dating and romance scams.
2. These numbers could be doubled or tripled because not all scams are reported, and it makes sense if you think about it.  A high level of shame, embarrassment and ego comes into play when reporting scams.  

What type of dating and romance scams must you be aware of?

The Dating App Scam

Most people on dating apps are there to connect with someone and, in an ideal world, make a connection that results in a relationship.  On the flip side, scammers are there purely to steal money or manipulate you into doing something you would not normally do.

Sugar Daddy or Sugar Mummy Scams

In these scams, the scammer poses as a rich man or woman with the promise of providing an abundance of financial support to you.  

Social Media Friend Requests or Messages

This one is a simple message from a scammer’s profile(s).  Usually beginning with a declaration of your beauty or a simple ‘Hello dear’ or ‘Hello beautiful’.  Sometimes, the scammer has done a bit of OSINT (Open-Source Intelligence) by looking at your social media profiles.  What school you attended, your movie or book likes, they may even try to ‘become friends’ with your friends so it looks like you have mutual connections.  This kind of information increases the chances of you responding to their first message.  If your social media privacy settings aren’t set up correctly, there is also a chance that the scammers can have a look at your posts.  See what you are up to.  Scammers are incredibly opportunistic and will wait for the right time to pounce and take advantage of your situation, such as a breakup, the death of a loved one, one of your kids heading off to university or travelling, etc.  

Online dating Cryptocurrency investment scams

These scams are interesting because the scammer takes their time creating a fake relationship with an additional focus on their interest in cryptocurrencies, their unique knowledge, and outstanding personal financial gains.  After some time, building trust with you, their victim, the scammer offers to help you invest appropriately into cryptocurrency with the result of stealing your money.

Blackmail and Sextortion

During the fake relationship created by the scammer, they will sometimes send you sensitive photos (not of themselves as AI-generated images or stolen images of another person), and they will ask the same from you.  This practice has become widespread and, sadly, a common part of the online dating world.  What happens next is the threat of sharing these images with your friends, family or workplace if you don’t send them money.  Now, I am not the sensitive photo police.  I can say that if you choose to send sensitive photos, DO NOT INCLUDE YOUR FACE or any other personally identifiable information such as birthmarks, metadata on the image, background details in the images or anything that can identify the image as being you.  

Red Flags to keep an eye out for

• The Photo.  Images are easy to find on the internet and sites such as https://thispersondoesnotexist.com/ can create you a face that does not exist in seconds.
• Meeting in Person. Despite your best efforts, you have never met them in person.  Plans may be set and then at the last minute, something comes up and they can’t make it.
• You have never seen them ‘live’. When it comes time for a video chat, they suddenly encounter internet issues or app issues.
• The Playbook of Excuses. They are in hiding.  It’s not a good time at the moment.  They are being chased.  There was a last minute work trip.  Their internet cut out.  
• Love Bombing. Very early on they proclaim their love for you.  Without ever seeing you in person or knowing you at all other than over a few messages.
• Move you to another App. After they have hooked you on the app, they will quickly want to move you to emailor a messenger app such as WhatsApp. Why? They are a scammer and are working on many other victims and it’s much easier to manage you all on email or on a messenger app.
• Gaining your trust. During your messages, they will drop in random things like their importance at work, theirPhDs, or other academic achievements.  A popular approach is also to tell you they are military men or women.  All these elements are designed to gain your trust.
• Asking a lot about you.  Be alert for questions about you, especially if it’s early on or before you have had an in-person meeting.  For example, year of birth, address, school you went to, where you work, 
• Things don’t add up. Their responses or the flow of the conversation do not always make sense.  This could mean they are copying and pasting replies from a database or a bot is doing the work.  Keep an eye out for their spelling, grammar or basic understanding of what you are telling or asking them.  A typo here or there is nothing; however, pay attention to grammar and conversation flow.
• Money comes up early. They are going to be travelling, have a sick relative, are being threatened by criminals, have a nasty ex-partner, or they want to come and visit you and need a ticket, or a visa, and anything else you can think of.

Avoiding Dating and Romance Scams

I could list eleventy-hundred tips here.  There is one, however, that stands above the others. If you follow this, you will avoid the majority of romance scams.

If you have tried, on multiple occasions, to meet them in person or interact with them on a live video chat within a week or two of connecting online – THEY ARE NOT REAL,and you need to move on.

Much easier said than done. However, this is the safest and most reliable test.  Yes, you can reverse search their profile image, test them on all sorts of knowledge, and research them all over social media, which will take much of your time.  That one tip mentioned above is by far the best way to start.  If you do get to meet them in person or chat with them on a live video chat on more than one occasion, you will still need to keep an eye out for the other red flags.

Some other useful tips 

• Ignore all messages on social media from people you do not know.
• Under no circumstances should you share any personal information on social media or with someone you do not know or can’t verify.
• Update the privacy settings on all your social media apps.
• Always be alert and pay attention to what is happening around you.

There is a lot of money to be gained by dating and romance scams, and the scammers are very professional at what they do.  They operate at scale with scripts, multiple phones, and multiple profiles and even use AI chatbots to communicate with you.  

It’s easy to say, ‘Don’t take it personally’ if you are scammed.  However, when it comes to dating and romance scams, it does hurt more, even if no money has been stolen, and that’s speaking from personal experience.

It’s not all doom and gloom

There are hundreds of successful online dating stories, and you might be one of them!  The most important thing to remember is that when it comes to matters of the heart, we all want to see the best in people and believe everyone will be honest.  Cybersecurity is everyone’s responsibility, and if you remain aware of the red flags, your experience with dating online should be good.

Until next time, stay safe out there and Happy Valentine’s Day.